The Rio Hangover

It's been just about 4 months since Olympic Selection back in late October. That's one-third of a year. In the weeks after Olympic selection, it's fair to say things stung a bit. It's a black and white business: you're going, or you're staying. For us, the process had been very turbulent and intense. This blog is about the period since, and how my thinking has changed during it. It seems like a good time to write it, because my thoughts are a bit clearer, as the time is approaching that other countries will be having their Olympic trials soon (although places like New Zealand and Australia have just wrapped theirs up) and there will doubtless be some new hangovers that need seeing off, so it might be interesting for other people too.

Eye to eye with an ancient relative.

Up close to a beautiful and massive turtle.

In my previous blog, I wrote about my plan, and I duly got on with it. First things first, a holiday to Indonesia. I was away for nearly six weeks, but when I returned, I felt like I'd been away a year. It was absolutely amazing! I helped the Great Britain Mens Rafting Team to 7th at their Worlds, which I was very satisfied about. I saw wild orangutans in the jungles of Borneo and I saw beautiful underwater worlds around some of the zillion islands that make up the country. I ate delicious meals that cost £1.50 and snacked on the cheapest (8p!) and tastiest chocolate bars that I've ever had: the mighty Beng Beng! I spent lots of time with my wife and shared a few blog-worthy experiences with her! When I came back all I could think about was how lucky we are in the UK to live a life of comfort, plenty and choice. Some of these things are built upon the efforts of people who themselves have a lot less of all three, and some of these things use up precious resources in a way that damages our planet. I also thought a lot about how the people I met over there seemed to want the same things as what we want here: just to live a good life in peace. It certainly opened my eyes and if I'm honest, I didn't think about canoeing that much whilst I was out there.

Kim Woods @ Wadi Adventure

Looking out over a lot of fun!

Once I'd gotten back to good old Britain (winter cold and darkness), Mark and I started training for the season. Thankfully, my modest suffering was short lived, as we all shipped out to the UAE to train at the Wadi Adventure facility in Al Ain. It was a great place to train and we worked hard to get back into the groove. It is a nice river, fast and pushy, and it was great to be back among my teammates. For example, on one of our days off, all the athletes went to a water park for the day, where we went a bit daft having tonnes of goes on all the best slides. It was one of the most fun days I have had on the team, and it really warmed my heart and filled my fun tanks up. But being back in training did reveal something: That without 'the Rio thing', I felt a bit mushy and somewhat hollow. Don't get me wrong, canoeing was still fun, but without the hard stick and the juicy carrot, the sharp focus and energy to drive through anything just wasn't there. I felt like I was going through the motions a bit. And I didn't like it.

Since being back, I decided that this wasn't to continue. It was not the best use of my time and energy, and also it had a negative impact on Mark, but furthermore, it was not the sort of athlete or person that I wanted to be. This year is filled with uncertainty and many opportunities to gaze at things that I don't have (eg. The Olympics). But I decided to choose my focus and attempt to gently guide my thoughts towards the things that I have right now and the things that I am certain about. My new task: to try and enjoy canoeing just for the sake of it; and to learn to train hard and make progress, not focussed on what I can get out of it in the future, but for what I can get out of it now (the future will hopefully take care of itself). I am going to enjoy my friendships in the team and try to contribute to its progress. To that end, Mark and I decided that we would try and train with David and Richard more often than in the past, in the hope of keeping them sharp and possibly pushing them higher. I am certain that I love canoeing and so that is what I am going to do.

Now this is proving to be a good challenge. Old habits die hard, and I have found myself dipping into the vats of frustration that my brain can create for me, and that canoe slalom is easily able to keep topped up. I have found myself blunting the joy of canoeing with very strict and inflexible ideas about what progress looks like, and how it is achieved. I have also sometimes allowed rivalry too big a share of my headspace. But, I can also say that when I have been successful, I have noticed the super fun and exciting things that very often I skipped over, in favour of solving some of the 'bad' things (I use the word 'bad', when in fact I should say "areas that aren't as good as I want them to be, but that I'm going to work on and learn about", although that doesn't roll off the tongue!). We have learnt some really interesting new boat handling tricks, and we have been moving the boat really nicely on the water. And I reckon we have been pretty fast at times too! But the main thing is that I am adjusting the balance of my approach to canoeing, and it seems to work both in terms of enjoyment and progression of my abilities.

A well known hangover cure is 'the hair of the dog', and although it's not something I've been into in the past, I will also get to try this technique in a few weeks. Early in March, the Olympic reserve team will do a two week camp in Rio alongside the Olympic team, just in case any of us are ever called into the action. I have heard lots about Rio already, but it will be a fun adventure and a chance to paddle another Olympic course, even if it will not be part of the big show. I suspect that it will create some mixed feelings, but it will be another chance for me to test myself out and to stick to my plan. I will want to savour the chance to go somewhere new with my friends, and enjoy my paddling when I get there. I'll let you know how I get on!