Thursday 9 April 2015

Does being an Olympic Champion make team selection trials easier?

"Does being an Olympic Champion make team selection trials easier?" This, or something like this, was a question I was asked several times over the Selection/Easter weekend. My short answer was, "Yes and no". But here is my long answer, for anyone who might be interested.

Racing hard at Selection (photo credit Peter Milsom)
The "yes" part isn't too hard to imagine. Tim Baillie and I did race in front of an epic crowd, on an epic occasion and things worked out very well. It was intense, but we'd worked really hard to understand how that sort of situation might affect us. For me, and I think for Tim too, (but you'd have to ask him), I think the most important thing we had was the idea that we really could only do our best. At the end of the day, it is illogical to imagine that it is possible to do more than that. It's also a bit babyish to throw the toys out of the pram when you do your best and it doesn't get you to where you want to be. But I'll be honest, and say I've done that, often enough to hate doing it and not often enough to be able to guarantee that I won't do it again. I also really wanted to learn through the experience, about myself, about my sport and maybe, just maybe, something about life in general. Being totally committed to these ideas, I believe gave me the ability to just go out there and canoe.

Having raced the Olympics (and it should be said, grappling through the qualifying and selection process), does give me some confidence that these sorts of occasions are survivable, and in fact, more than that, are 'thrivable' - that is you can find an amazing place to experience your life, even if only for a short time. I'm living proof that there are sometimes happy endings to big moments like this, despite the ever present voice of impending doom and disaster in my head. That is a big help.

But this brings me onto the "no" part. The first day of 2015 Selection I woke up (admittedly after a fairly decent night's sleep) and started sweating. It wasn't hot, but my furnace was running! I sweated whilst eating my porridge (this mightn't have helped!), I sweated in my car (with the vents blowing cool), I sweated as we prepped the course. I was certainly nervous and I think I can say that I was in my Top 5 nervous moments. I had worked hard with Katie (our awesome sports psychologist) to keep the race in perspective and keep my focus on my inputs to our performance, but there was no way to deny that this was a step into the unknown. Mark and I had never been in such an intense race before, we'd never raced all 5 of the UK's top C2 crews in one sitting and we didn't really know how we would react as individuals, or as a crew. On the second day of selection, I was nervous again. The third day, guess what? I was nervous again! Despite knowing that we were guaranteed to be on the team.

But this I think brings me to why selection is so important and valuable. I honestly don't think it matters who you are, because in our sport, even the greatest athletes can be humbled by the power of whitewater. Even if you are amazing, the water can turn a perfect run into a perfect mess! So I think it's very difficult to take any result for granted, and it is hard to know that you are definitely going to 'make the team'. You can work hard to stack the probabilities your way, but that's about it, there will always be significant uncertainty. Getting selected is a test, can you perform under pressure, when you know that all you are really racing for is the chance to do it again, but on a bigger, more important stage? It probes your abilities for weaknesses, scratching away the perfect paint, and getting down to the imperfect materials underneath. And therein lies the value. Exposing these flaws is vital if you are to go on to perform on a bigger stage, it gives you the chance to see your abilities where they are, and so you then have a chance to work on them.

This is why I am so proud to be on the Great Britain Slalom Team for 2015. I have had a good look at myself, and it was sound enough. Work to do, but sound. Mark and myself chased and were chased by some excellent crews and we bonded more closely for it. And I know that every member of our team has gone through something similar. Every member of this team will now be be able to be better prepared when the next opportunity arrives to race on the awesome Lee Valley White Water Centre: The 2015 World Championships. Bring that tasty dish to the table so we can eat!!!